adhesiveslipper ([info]adhesiveslipper) wrote,
@ 2007-04-08 10:25:00
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Happy Easter!





Wait, what does a bunny, Pagan symbol for LUST, have to do with Our Lord And Most Holiest of Holy Saviors Joshua Jesus "The Holy" Christ (Holy)?



Oh, that's right, the Easter celebration had been celebrated for a thousand or so years before Christ was even born to a virgin (Greek word "parthenos". Though, actually, in the original hebraic the word was "almah", which means "Young Woman"; it was mistranslated by the Greeks and then subsequently misquoted by Matthew in his Gospel. Whoops. Sorry if it caused any undue anxiety about sex.)



Wait, why did the Romans all get together on a holiday weekend to execute a bunch of thieves?



Though, when WAS Jesus crucified? Was he crucified the day before the Passover meal was eaten, as John tells us... Or the day after the Passover meal was eaten, as Mark tells us?



Wait, if two of the gospels contradict eachother on something... wouldn't the mean the Bible wasn't the infallible word of God? Let me ask my slaves what they think...



("As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are around you." Leviticus 25:44)



Hmm... My slaves didn't know anything, I guess cos I never taught them to read. Well, I suppose it's a GOOD thing the Bible isn't the infallible word of The God, cos that would mean I'm going to Hell for having worked on all these Sabbaths anyhow (The Sabbath is kind of funny too: Jews observe the Sabbath on Saturn's Day, whereas Christians observe it on Apollo, or The Sun's Day. Which day did Yahweh choose to rest on?). In fact, the Bible sort of kind of says that I should be KILLED for having worked on the Sabbath, but hey... don't worry... we have MORALS now that we can use to make a MORAL JUDGEMENT about God's Holy Words. Don't go stoning anybody, cos we're BETTER THAN THE BIBLE NOW.



Hey, you know what I read somewhere? You know who else's mother was a royal virgin and was exectuted on top of a hill??? Oedipus, Theseus, Heracles, Bellerophon, Dionysus... Oh, and remember that whole story about Odin being pierced in the side with a javelin and then being hung from a tree for 9 days and nights whilst being pecked at by ravens before a glorious resurrection after which he possessed even more divine knowledge? Yeah, those are themes consistent with just about every hero myth we know. So, yeah.



So, happy Easter. If you want to keep busy, take on Dan Barker's Easter Challenge... it should be fun and easy for you Christians out there, and an informative way to spend the day. As for me, I'll be coloring eggs and eating chocolate bunnies. And of course, trembling in fear at Jesus McChristy's Great Zombie Uprising! ("The tombs also were opened, and many bodies of the Saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of their tombs after His resurrection they went into the city and appeared to many." Matthew 27:53-54)



FEAR THE ZOMBIE JESUS!


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[info]elemasquish
2007-04-08 03:49 pm UTC (link)
Deleted the last comment because it was bitchy. Sorry about that.

Happy Easter. Kiss Zoe for me.

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-08 04:38 pm UTC (link)
Happy Eostre!

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[info]elemasquish
2007-04-09 10:21 am UTC (link)
Haha. Yes, I ate a chocolate bunny yesterday as well. And Steve taught Laura some sort of math problem. And we gorged ourselves on my mom's cooking.

But you know how fanatical we are...

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-09 01:28 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I went to my folks' house and got criticized for a few hours, then came home and drank. Gonna do some late egg-painting tonight, tho. Just gotta buy the eggs!

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[info]elemasquish
2007-04-09 08:12 pm UTC (link)
But at least the drink was with Randi and went along with some good parent criticizing?

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[info]ragingpie
2007-04-10 02:54 am UTC (link)
Your parents drive you to drink? Dude!

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[info]slipperybins
2007-04-08 04:05 pm UTC (link)
"...that would mean I'm going to Hell for having worked on all these Sabbaths..."

Oh, come on. You know as well as I do that the real reason you're going to hell is for all that pre-marital non-procreative sex you've had. And enjoyed. I think enjoying it gets you into a deeper circle in hell, actually. Ah, well, you'll be with friends.

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-08 04:47 pm UTC (link)
Though Paul refers to marital sex as a sin too. Uh-oh!!!!

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-08 04:48 pm UTC (link)
Oh, and this: I fucking deny the existence of the Holy Ghost.

"Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." Mark 3:29

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[info]elemasquish
2007-04-09 10:23 am UTC (link)
Saint Paul thought the world was going to end within his time. He wanted everyone to stop doing everything remotely sinful and repent and ask for forgiveness because the end of the world was coming very soon. He makes much more sense when you read his words with that in mind.

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-09 01:15 pm UTC (link)
I'm aware of that, and I find it pretty interesting. It raises the question... which parts of the Bible are meant to be read critically, and which are to be believed without question?

I mean, even Jesus was kind of a fucker if the Bible is to be taken literally ("But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me" Luke 19:27). Do we ignore that? At one point in the Gospels Jesus urges Christians that the Gentiles do NOT deserve to be converted; at another point, he states quite clearly that missionary work should be every Christian's duty. Which is it?

Either the Bible is the Inerrant Word Of God, or it's a book of first century politics. I'd be willing to base my life on the former, but certainly not on the latter.


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[info]elemasquish
2007-04-09 08:23 pm UTC (link)
I think it's absolutely fascinating.

And some people base their entire life on finding out the answer to your question.

I actually have some really interesting articles that were written by Catholic scholars about how everything in the Bible needs to be taken in context and read critically. I mean, think about it, that thing has been translated so many times by people with so many different agendas. Christian's believe, or at least should believe, that since the Bible was written by humans, it is flawed because humans are limited by their knowledge and prejudices. Christians believe that you have to dig to find the stuff that was truly "inspired by God."

So, if some jerk is trying to convert you with specific instances in the Bible, throw it right back at 'em.

I personally, find that deep in my heart, I still believe in my religion, even though I know all these flaws. It's called faith - that's why it's a religion. You know I handle the abstract well. It brings me joy and comfort. I love it very much.

But these things bother you, and that is why you are not a part of the religion. You do not have faith in it.

I'd write more, but I need to go look at houses!

Have fun coloring eggs! Make an ugly one for me ;)

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-10 05:04 pm UTC (link)
"Christian's believe, or at least should believe, that since the Bible was written by humans, it is flawed because humans are limited by their knowledge and prejudices."

It's easy to say what religion SHOULD be like.

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[info]elemasquish
2007-04-10 09:53 pm UTC (link)
Wow. Using the old pulling one word out of an entire thought and using it to prove your point? Sounds like what you don't like people to do with the Bible... That was kind of weak. You can do better. Do you have a problem with the fact that I'm Christian? Kind of hypocritical of you if you don't want people to care if you're not.

And no, it's not easy to say what a religion should be. It's not easy to stand up for what you believe when it's not a popular viewpoint and people think that they can raise themselves above you because of it. Getting treated like you're weak-minded is not easy. It is hard to live the way you think a religion should be. It is hard to do what you think is right when it is not the popular viewpoint - whether you're talking with people who are religious or not. It puts you on the outside of both sides.

It is, however, easy to criticize something you have no experience with or knowledge of. I think that you should be happy with just letting Christians be happy being Christian. Why let it bother you so long as they aren't hassling you about it? Don't you want other people to be happy? I certainly wouldn't worry about other people if I were you. Look at religion as an intellectual study, as you tend to do, let other people treat it like a religion, and leave it at that.

Because, like I said, I'm confident enough in myself that I live my life as I please and don't need affirmation for my religion. I don't need to put others down to justify how I live my life. Why don't you do the same?

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-11 02:34 pm UTC (link)
Well, we live in America. You have the right to be religious as much as you want, I have the right to make fun of religion as much as I want. Ultimately, this Easter post was a joke. A bit of an angry joke, but a joke.

In the past, I've had merely a passive distaste for religion, but with a "live and let live" attitude. Lately, however, I've been more and more forced to acknowledge that religion is becoming government, and I have a huge problem with that. Between the Intelligent Design TRAVESTY, the whole stupid mess over stem cells, and have you heard about the Congressional Prayer Caucus (http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/126972.aspx)? This stuff puts the old Pro-Death/Anti-Choice battle on the back burner to make room for a whole new layer of craziness. It just keeps building up and building up, and I really believe it's reaching critical mass. As a country, we're pretty much one small step away from attempting to seize the holy land and rebuild the temple, so jesus will come back and we can all hang out until armageddon.

I don't have a problem with YOUR personal religion, 'cause you don't hate anyone or exclude anyone as a result of your religion. Your personal religion isn't standing in the way of drastic medical advances or a basic science education in the classroom. Your personal religion isn't causing any out-of-hand holy wars all over the world.

The problem is that your Bible and their Bible is often the same Bible. I didn't intend to put you down when I made the post, and I'm sorry I got argumentative with you. I do, however, feel the need to put religious belief down from time to time, because I don't feel like there are enough people out there doing it in this country. Religion is typically not safe for discussion, despite the fact that it's currently poisoning our government, and that's gotta change. Every time Bush takes tax money away from a university medical lab and gives it to a church, someone needs to step up and bitch about it. It's the only way things can eventually get straightened out.

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[info]kozispoon
2007-08-14 07:31 am UTC (link)
I do, however, feel the need to put religious belief down from time to time, because I don't feel like there are enough people out there doing it in this country

Heh.
Hehehe...HAHAHAHA!

I am DYING to know where you live. Come to San Francisco. It's a God haters Utopia over here.

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-10-31 06:46 pm UTC (link)
I'm not a God-Hater, though I am a God-Denier. I don't have any particular problem with God-As-Personal-Philosophy, but I do have a problem with Bible-As-Genuine-History. I have a huge problem with the Bible in general. It's a dangerous book full of dangerous ideas, written by people who lived in a tiny world with a barbaric culture. Those things don't even have anything to do with God or a belief in God, necessarily.

I consider myself lucky to live in a pretty liberal area (Coastal New Hampshire), and people are pretty relaxed about religion here. It doesn't play a part in our politics, and no particular religion is shoved in our faces. However, places like the south and the midwest are positively ROTTEN with crazy, hate-mongering, nutcase Christians. One got elected president, even! They have a HUGE amount of power in our government, and that scares the crap out of me. It's dangerous for atheists, but it's also dangerous for Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims (especially!), Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, Wiccans, Mormons, agnostics, and any other group that doesn't buy into the particular brand of Fundamental Christianity that's rising to power in this country.

A large factor in Fundamentalism is Biblical Literalism, which is dangerously ignorant. Biblical Literalism is dangerous to anyone who isn't reading the same Bible, and that INCLUDES millions of Christians. To read the Bible in a literal way either requires a HUGE amount of ignorance, or an active effort to suppress one's knowledge of the REAL world.

The point of my original post was to show that given five minutes thought, the Bible falls apart. That's not even to say that the underlying philosophies and life lessons of the Bible aren't sound (though I personally believe many of them are). But a LARGE percentage of our country still doesn't "believe in" evolution, thinks humanity predates the dinosaurs, believes in a world-wide flood, believes the world to be between six and ten thousand years old, and believes that the world is going to EXPLODE within the next 100 years, all based on their literal interpretation of the Bible... and that's why I think people DO need to take the time to make fun of it from time to time.

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-10-31 06:51 pm UTC (link)
I admit, however, I shouldn't have said "religious belief". I SHOULD have said "the dumb and/or mean aspects of religious belief". To just say "religious belief" would imply I have a problem with things like "love thy neighbor", which I definitely do not.

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[info]rangersexypants
2007-04-09 03:23 am UTC (link)
Friggin easter, man... It just made it harder for Martin to make an ice cream run. My poor hubby had PMS and had to hunt down ice cream when he just wanted to sit and eat chocolate! hehehehe

Don't even get me started on the traditional pot of borscht. *shudder* Uuuugh...

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-09 01:16 pm UTC (link)
*pictures Martin scooping Ben&Jerry's out of the carton in sweatpants, watching the Gilmore Girls and crying a little from time to time*

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[info]adhesiveslipper
2007-04-09 01:17 pm UTC (link)
I don't think I even know what borscht is, exactly. Wasn't aware it was an Easter tradition.

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[info]ragingpie
2007-04-09 05:35 pm UTC (link)
Apparently the Polish have a disgusting food for every holiday!

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(Anonymous)
2007-04-16 01:12 am UTC (link)
The bible: Hack writing.

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[info]littleone
2007-05-21 12:03 am UTC (link)
this is a pretty freaking lovely entry. It just flows.. .the way thoughts flow... like water... on a nice day, which is exactly what is NOT happening here in New Hampshire... because it is cold and wet... and the old man fell a little over 4 years ago... straight off the mountain, old neckface he now be... the end.

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